The Freeloader Producer

To coin a phrase, a sad git, this one. But costly to encounter. Frequently wears large hats. Similar to the Old Compton Street Producer but more hands-on. This one invites himself to stay at your home, usually on the pretext of discussing changes to your screenplay which he has optioned for one pound or dollar. Rarely pays for anything. Consumes vast amounts of your food and drink. Can be a sexual predator, preying on keen newcomers to the industry. An unscrupulous professional freeloader who will rarely, if ever, produce a mainstream film, but will sometimes produce a low-budget piece, usually a short, to which he will frequently refer as a reference to his credibility. Has also been known to sell off your ideas, and use your imaginative titles for his own shorts. Basically this guy is a fraud who uses someone else's talent and hospitality to stay hovering around the industry. The problem is spotting him, but a good way is to approach a reputable agent, tell them that someone is interested in optioning (or has already optioned if you're a rank amateur) your screenplay and ask if they know of him. I haven't yet met a female freeloader producer, by the way - I've generally found them more honorable than the men. The agent will have either not heard of him, or will warn you off. Another giveaway is a pronounced reluctance to invite you to his office, preferring instead to meet you in a members-only club, usually somewhere in the West End of London. Black's, Soho House, and The Groucho are usually pretty good at sifting out these fakes, but don't take it as gospel.

Lessons:
1) Don't sign anything without discussing it with an agent
2) Don't agree to him visiting you at home
3) Treat any unknown as a potential ***hole