The Meaning of Life

Basically there isn't one. Not an overall easy to understand thing, that is. The most difficult aspect is the brain, difficult insofar as it (the brain) is able to perceive absolutely nothing beyond its own conditioning. Remove memories, it's fucked.

So we have to transcend the brain. Easier said than done. Ever tried it? Well the secret if there is one is not to try, but to be aware of the gaps between the chatter of the brain's activity. Wam. Suddenly everything's crystal clear and wonderful. Then wam and you're back into brainland saying to yourself, 'Hey. I glimpsed it. I'm enlightened. I saw the truth.' Or some such bollocks.

And you're back in the underworld of Brain Tyranny.

Problem is, if you need to write stuff, having an empty brain isn't the best state in which to be. You need information and that curious thing called emotion. You have to entertain. Unless of course you're one of these odd souls who writes for him or herself (ffs, why bother?).

Which brings me onto information, and in a curious way back to where we started... Most research nowadays is done on the net. Easy, innit. You sit there on your arse and trawl the web, looking for something exciting and original to add to your work. Cunt. Your brain is like that web - not a piece of originality in it, just the mindless dribblings of countless secondhand brains. So you copy someone's already copied idea and produce your masterpiece. And some of the more discerning among us wonder why practically everything that's produced nowadays is banal crap.

Have you ever tried to pitch a script? GENRE is what they all want to know; fucking genre. Because if you can't pigeonhole the thing, you're screwed. And the latest genre bollocks is - wait for it - High Concept. D'you know what that means? No, neither does anyone else, beyond it has to have an immediate 'hook' (eh?), a good title (I kid ye not) and must be able to be described in one sentence with words of one syllable for the ignorant who are going to sell it to the financiers. Good job they weren't trying to pitch The Bible eh? Cos sure as heck that's High Concept by anybody's book, unless you want to get blasphemous about this. Anyway, genres only count if they're What Everyone's Looking For Right Now. And that boils down to what the financiers believe is going to give them a reasonable return. And what they want is BANKABLE NAMES in the central roles - you know why? Because the public are mindless idiots who go to see a movie because so-and-so's in it. It guarantees a return, because they know that x million females will pay good money to see Mister Knobhead with the tattoo in the right place - remember filling in that little questionnaire, that little survey, which among other things asked you your favourite star? Well, you fed the machine and it shits out crap. And it's all your fault.

Anyone want to start a Give Us Exciting Original Stuff blog? Go for it. Hell, I've been trying all my life.

Instead, I think I might just start by telling you my life story.